And I Haven't Danced Since He Died...

little dancers 1 by chrisseserville

a gift from Mariana to me in the form of a letter on the eve of her return to Croatia for just the second time in nine years...

I know I dont have to tell you about consequences of war; I lost my cousin who was like a brother to me we grew up together and were of the same age. He was the one who taught me how to put eyeliner on and how to dance. And I havent danced since he died. His war lasted only 5 days.

He was found with 15 knife stabs in his body and 83 bullets.

The journalists who wrote about his death had to flee Croatia. His commander was found dead under strange circumstances. The young man who found my cousin and carried his body on his back to a ferry boat, on the bus, and then home -- had to flee the country fearing for his life.

The five men who ambushed my cousin were Croatian paramilitary -- my cousin was in the Croatian Military Police. Those who didn't die in the war were found guilty of war crimes and sentenced. The military or the government (not sure which one) erected a monument for my cousin on the island on which he died. But his mother still keeps his room the same way as it was 14 years ago, and takes yellow Gerber daisies to his grave every day.

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